I was idly speculating on Twitter this morning about the blog topics I was considering. A sponsored post that had been scheduled for today was cancelled so I was mulling over a few ideas.
There was a range of options. I have a book to plug, a vaccum to review, some pans to give away and some ranting to do. About dog poo.
Dog poo actually got the vote, largely thanks to the power of Potty Mummy and the 35,000 wild dogs on the streets of Moscow but also to @ihearthmuthahood. A couple of people (@Missy_B83 and @PippaD) suggested I should combine all the topics in a single post and maybe even create a short story out of them.
But you know what? I’m not going to. I’m not going to write about any of them. Who wants to read about dog poo? I don’t; I spend half my life avoiding it on the school run and cursing the irresponsible, anti-social and incompetent owners who allow their dogs to defecate in the middle of the pavement.
If I had my way I would bring back the dog licence, charge at least £200 a year and use the cash to pay for some of those wonderful street cleaners they have in Paris who ride around on scooters sucking the stuff up into an enormous vacuum cleaner. (I’d be tempted to do the job myself – the Vax Mach Air Reach that I’ve been trialling certainly has the hose length and suction power. Perhaps I could attach it to the pushchair?)
I could write a book about it. But like I said, who’d want to read about that? Far better to get stuck into some Writing Therapy. And if that inspires you to have a go yourself, my new ‘how-to’ guide to Creative Writing will set you on your way quite nicely.
Which only leaves the saucepans, really. Denby saucepans, to be precise. I’m giving away this fantastic Denby four-piece stainless steel saucepan set (rrp £120) courtesy of Palmers, the independent East Anglian department store which is celebrating its 175th birthday this year.
All you have to do is come round to my neighbourhood and clear up all the dog mess. No, seriously. To be in it to win it you can do any one (or all) of the following:
- Tweet a link to this post
- ‘Like’ (or even buy!) my new book (or any of the old ones, I’m not fussy – this one’s only 99p)
- ‘Like’ my brand-new (well, it’s not 175 years old) author page on Facebook if you haven’t done already
Leave me a comment telling me which method(s) you’ve opted for and I’ll put you into the virtual hat, the one I’ll be pulling names out of next weekend.
Good luck. Happy reading and jolly clicking.
Oh, and mind where you’re walking.